p.2 WPCWG

So, the question is, at what point do you say enough is enough? Do you have to do something drastic like a leap of faith in order to do what YOU  want and go for it? Or do you stay practical and keep doing what is already working and is even making you successful.

I have a full time job that is stable and provides for my family. I even graduated with a degree to make myself more valuable. BUT, what I do, is not what I have any sort of passion for. I do not find any fullfillment or happiness in my job . However, I don't hate it either because it is challenging and I've been to lead to believe that I'm pretty darn good at it too. I try sometimes to shut down my thoughts that second guess my career and just focus on doing my job, but the dream never fails to resurface. Each time it resurfaces with a sting, and a force stronger than before.

I vision myself  with my own store: A store full of my own creations...mostly furniture that I've remodeled, painted, decoupaged, etc., and other artistic creations I can only daydream about. I think of how awesome it would be to make my own schedule - to have complete control over my day. I think about how I can dress to my liking, expose my tattoos, and have any color hair that I want. I could be myself. Completely %100 ME.  I can design the interior of the store, I can sell items online, and I could even go to specific stores and show them portfolios of items I know they would love to showcase. I reach this high during my vision that motivates me and gets my blood pumping to start right then and right now, but then.....I began to second guess my abilities. Do I really have the talent? Can I really make a living off of this type of career? Is it practical in this economy?  My doubt and my fears take over and I force myself to remember what I already have achieved and the needs of my family and then I decide that this goal is not for me. My thoughts take me back to a time when I was unemployed for a period of barely a month and during that time I thought I'd be able to begin this "dream." I didn't do a darn thing. I couldn't create anything,...I couldn't do it. I panicked and immediately started searching for a job back in the legal field. And here I am today, two years later, still obsessing over my so called "goal" that seems entirely out of reach.